Excitement is in the air...

And eagerness... And impatience... And... AHHH!!! :D

I am so ecstatic to be able to say that I can now delete my engagement ring choice from my Kay Jewelers wish list!! :D

No, we are not engaged. :(
However, the ring has been purchased!!

I'm not allowed to see it. He considers that bad luck. :/ Party pooper!

I'm ready for...

May - Jesma Graduates!! YAY!!
June - Kids Quest starts; Vacation with Shawn's family!!
July - Vacation with Caroline & Campbell; Kids Quest ends; I suspect Shawn will propose!! SUPER YAY!! :D

I'm so thankful for all the blessings God has given me!! :D

Who will?

Who will...
...teach her to braid her hair?
...teach her how to put on her make up?
...teach her how to shave her legs?
...talk to her about boys when she's broken hearted?
...she cry with during sappy movies?
...she giggle with when she gets engaged?
...help her pick out the perfect wedding dress?
...help her get ready for the big day?
...she turn to when she's needs to rant about her children being unruly?
...she brag to about how sweet those unruly children are being?

I don't know what was going on, and I don't know why it happened.
But, these are the questions I ask you... What about your little girl, Makayla?

You were such a beautiful person, inside & out.
I hope you found the peace you were searching for.

Rest in peace, Leslie. <3

Countdown Updates

Drum rooooooll PLEASE!! :D

Shawn's Birthday: 78 days!!

Our 1 Year Anniversary: 102 days!!

The end of the school year: 120 days!!

Our {estimated} Engagement Date: 177 days!!

My birthday: 257 days!!

GRADUATION {done with school}: approximately 337 days!!

Graduation Ceremony: 485!!


Our WEDDING: 445 days!! :D

What a weekend!

FRIDAY:
*comingsoon*


SATURDAY:
"A picture is worth 1,000 words."

SUNDAY:

*comingsoon*

New Perspective

Day 3 of productivity... SUCKS!! :/

That is all. :P

Ups and Downs

There's no other way to describe this weekend other than a roller coaster.

Friday, Shawn and I went to see Wicked!! As always, it was amazing. I love that play SO much!! :D We also ate at the Pita Pit before. Yummy!! It's sooo good. :)

Saturday, Shawn and I dropped my car off at Walmart to get my oil changed. (I was only 7,000+ miles past since the LAST time I was supposed to get it change. [That's equal to 10,000+ miles over.] Oops.) After Walmart, we went to Bowling Green and drove around looking for an imaginary Chik-Fil-A until we found the real-life Chik-Fil-A. Stupid, google maps. :P After lunch, we went to the mall to window shop for potential Christmas present ideas. And THEN... :D

So, it's no shocker that Shawn and I have discussed marriage. I love him and he loves me. And, we both want to be together for the rest of our lives. :) 

I love Kay Jewelers. Every piece of jewelry I've gotten from there has been beautiful and good quality, plus they support St. Jude!! :) So, I definitely want my engagement ring to come from there. No doubt about it.

Back to THEN... So, we were walking through the mall when Shawn squeezed my hand and whispered, "Wanna go look?" Sadly, that sweet moment was ruined by my blonde-heartedness. I said, "Look at what?" and started looking all around me. So, finally he just darted straight toward Kays and I said, "Oh!!" :)

So, I've had the ring picked out since I was about 16. Haha!
The only question was 1/2 or 1/4k.
I had THE ring ON my finger!! Oh my. It's SO pretty. I did not want to give it back.
So, not only did we pick out my engagement ring, but Shawn let them run his credit so we could see how much the monthly payment would be. :)

*To answer any questions, NO. We are NOT engaged. He did NOT buy a ring.

After the mall, we went back to Walmart to pick up my car and then we were off to dinner at Carrabba's with my parents. After dinner we went to Target where we got THE CALL!!

My brother, after having dated his girlfriend for 7 years, proposed!! He is now engaged!! :D Yay!!

Sunday, Shawn and I went to Church Alive, which was amazing as always. Pastor Scott greeted us and we talked for a few minutes. We hadn't really seen him since our get together with him and his wife. They've been on trips and to conferences for the past month or two. They're so sweet though. At one of the conferences he found a book that he felt would help me. "On Being Pentecostal" I'm so happy to have such a wonderful pastor!

After Church Alive, we went to CFC. There was a really good guest preacher. His memory skills, at 81, were awesome.

We left church and went to my parents' house where we had turkey burritos and watched the rest of the Titans game.

All of those things sound positive, right?

Well, here's the down... :(

I got a text from Courtney at 8:05 Sunday morning. Scott's, her husband, step-dad went into the hospital with pneumonia and fluid around his heart. Only 35% of his heart was functioning. He was put on a ventilator. Sunday, Courtney texted me asking for prayer. There was nothing the doctors could do and they were about to take him off the ventilator. She was having a hard time with how to tell the girls, Caroline (6) and Campbell (3). He passed away about a minute after being taken off the ventilator. Scott's not taking it very well.

So lucky to have found each other :)

Savannah, GA

Here are my 3 favorite photos that Momma took in Savannah this fall. :)

UPDATES

Tomorrow, I register for my LAST Spring semester ( my second to last semester of college)!! :D

Tomorrow, Shawn & I get to see WICKED!! :D

$84 have been saved towards the chapel rental!!

I've raised $70 for St. Jude!! :)
(Wanna donate? Go here.)

I got a $135 photo session, $35 revision session, & $100 towards prints for $50!!
Can't wait to have photos taken with Shawn. :)

Life. Is. Good.
Glory to God!! :D

Our New Friends

A week or so ago, Shawn's friend, Joseph, asked him to go with him to talk to some people living under bridges on Ellington Parkway. They went and met some really good people. They asked if there was anything the church could get them, and they simply asked for blankets. Nothing else.

The church held a blanket drive the following Sunday. It turned out great!! I'd say there were about 15-20 blankets/sleeping bags donated. (Almost all of them were brand new!!)

Last night Joseph, Jara, Emma & Joe, and Shawn & I went to hand out blankets.

It was a really neat experience. :)

Joseph & Michael

Shawn with Mr. Country & Little Stevie

Joseph with The Twins, Robert & Carl

GIVE THANKS!!

Goals and Losses

Goals
Weight: 110-140 pounds
Body Fat Percentage: 18-22%
Waist: 32 inches

Starting: August 13, 2011
Weight: 183.8 pounds
Body Fat Percentage: 39%
Waist: 42 inches

September 10, 2011
Weight: 174.6 pounds (-9.2 lbs)
Body Fat Percentage: 37% (-2%)
Waist:

October 22, 2011
Weight: 168.0 pounds (-6.6 lbs)
Body Fat Percentage: 36.4% (-0.6%)
Waist:

November 19, 2011
Weight:
Body Fat Percentage:
Waist:

Total Lost:
Pounds: 15.8
Inches: 19.5
Body Fat: 2.6%

Words that Drive. Pt 3

*Note: This is not a christian song, but it was playing on my Adele Pandora station and still struck me.


Arms by Christina Perri


I hope that You see right through my walls.
I hope that You catch me, because I'm already falling.
I'll never let a love get so close.
You put Your arms around me, and I'm home.

I tried my best to never let You in to see the truth, and I've never opened up.
I've never truly loved until You put Your arms around me.
And, I believe that it's easier for You to let me go.

• I've built up walls. I've got walls with my parents, my friends, my teachers, Shawn, and I'd say mostly with God. Granted, the walls with everyone, except God, are mostly demolished. I think that's because I feel like if I do something or say something wrong that they can't judge me because they've done or said something wrong at one point. Kind of a splinter/plank in the eye kind of mentality, I suppose. However, those walls with God seem to be reinforced with steel beams. I try not to let Him see the truth in the horrible things that I've ever done. I'm terrified that because God's perfect, He'll look down on me because of my mistakes. 
• I pray that God will catch me because I'm constantly falling.
• "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is Love." 1 John 4:8 Honestly, one can't love until they let love in. How am I supposed to love Shawn, if I can't let God love me?
• "You put Your arms around me, and I'm home." -- That finishing line sums it up. Although it is so easy for me to believe that God giving up on me would be easier than Him coming to my rescue every 5 seconds or so, I'm sure it seems to Him, I know that when He puts His loving, kind, and gracious arms around my weak and meager flesh, that I am home. I'm where I belong. I'm a daughter in the arms of my Father. 

Words that Drive. Pt 2

Let It Fade by Jeremy Camp

Have you been walking on a surface that's uncertain?
Have you helped yourself to everything that's empty?
You can't live this way too long.
There's more than this, more than this.


Have you been standing on your own feet too long?
Have you been looking for a place where you belong?
You can rest, you will find rest.
You can rest, you will find rest.


Have you been holding on to what this world has offered? 
Have you been giving in to all these masquerades?
It will be gone, forever gone.
It will be gone, it will be gone.


Are you carrying the weight too much?
Are you running from the call?

• I realized I started growing and falling back in love with God, and then *poof* it vanished. I suddenly felt like I was standing on my own feet on shaky ground and I was reaching out for anything and everything that would pull me out. But, you see. What happened was that I would pull and pull and pull but soon I realized that these ropes weren't attached to anything because I was pulling on the things of the world. All that effort was unyielding. Now, I'm reaching out and pulling and pulling and pulling, but this effort won't go unrewarded because it's God's coat tail that I'm tugging at. I'm asking, begging, and pleading for Him to pick me up. My legs are tired and it's getting difficult to support myself on such uncertain land...

Let this old life crumble; let it fade.
Let this new life offered be your saving grace. 
Let this old life crumble; let it fade.
Let it fade. 

• I'm done. I'm letting the old ways crumble into dust. Once it does, I've got a thing or two to say to Satan, "Eat. My. DUST!" The old me is going to crumble and fade away. I know I've been saved by His grace. It's about time I started living like it!

Words that Drive. Pt 1

So, for the last week or so I've come across a few songs I've heard over and over again without actually focusing on the words. At least, if I focused, they didn't mean anything to me until now. There's also a few that are brand new to me, but they definitely struck a heart string.

You Love Me Anyway By Sidewalk Prophets
The question was raised as my conscience fell; a silly, little lie.
It didn’t mean much, but it lingers still in the corners of my mind.

Still You call me to walk on the edge of this world to spread my dreams and fly,
but the future’s so far, my heart is so frail.

I think I’d rather stay inside, but You love me anyway.
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known.

• As Christian's we are still bound to sin from time to time. We mustn't forget that along with being saved by the grace of God, we are also flesh. Although we fall short, God will still call us to do His works. Yes, we should correct our mistakes before moving onward, but nevertheless, God is here, always here, and He still loves us anyway.

It took more than my strength to simply be still; 
to seek but never find all the reasons we change, the reasons I doubt, and why do loved ones have to die?

But You love me anyway; It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known.

• Although we question God, all He has planned for us, and the reasons behind what he does, He still loves us. He loves us greater than any one could love any one else or any thing else. He loves us greater than the universe is wide. 

I am the thorn in Your crown, but You love me anyway.
I am the sweat from Your brow, but You love me anyway.
I am the nail in Your wrist, but You love me anyway.
I am Judas’ kiss, but You love me anyway.

• I'd have to say this part hits me the hardest. I find myself literally screaming this line when singing this song. It's just so full of power. -- Not only am I the excruciatingly painful thorn and nail and dripping sweat, but... I'm the Kiss. I am Jesus' kiss of death. My sins and my transgressions are the full purpose for Jesus being on the cross. I... I have murdered God's son?! Not only I, but You have as well. We are all the reason for His death, but ya know what? He still... After all the pain, all the anguish, all the hurt... He still loves you and me with all of His heart.

See now, I am the man who yelled out from the crowd 
for Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground.
Yes, then, I turned away with a smile on my face.
With this sin in my heart, tried to bury Your grace.
And then, alone in the night, I still called out for You.
So ashamed of my life.
But You love me anyway.
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known.

• It's incredible. At some point or another, I have been, and I'm sure I will be again, the man in the crowd cheering as they raised Him on the cross, cheering as He winces in anguish. I have, sadly, been that person many times, and I don't doubt that throughout my life, I will be that person lest once more. I have many times turned away from His grace with a smile when it's "cool", but then when no one was looking called out His name for comfort, strength, and healing. Guess what. The second my heart started calling out... He came RUNNING. His love? Yes, it's exactly that. It's like nothing... Nothing in life that I have ever known. 

His love is so amazing and pure and beautiful. This world taints so much God given beauty that it's hard to see clearly how much good is out there. So, when we fall into the belief of the bad, remember...

"You love me anyway. Oh Lord, how You love me."

Life is a countdown;

Make sure you're counting down to something worthwhile.

3 days until Fall Break!
51 days until Christmas Break!
181 days until Shawn and I's 1 year anniversary!
227 days until (my estimated) proposal day!
564 days until Graduation!

Wedding Details

YAY!! I know EXACTLY where I want to get married!! :D I'm so excited!! It's so pretty. :)

That Longing Feeling

As weird as it might be to say, I'm glad I have this feeling again. It's been so, so long since I've felt this way.

Shawn and I were planning to go to church tonight, like always, but CFC is having a business meeting tonight. (Please don't get me started on my rant about how dumb it is to plan a business meeting on a Wednesday night. I was told it was because a lot of them don't go to church on Wednesdays. Well, if that's true, why not have it on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night. They don't go to church on those nights... Okay. I'm done. I'm done.)

Shawn called to tell me that he needed to go since they haven't had one since the church burnt down, which I understand that he wants to go. I thought I'd just go to church without him and sit with his parents, but they aren't going either. :( And, I'm surely not one to go to something by myself.

So, back to this feeling.

Inside me there's this longing to be at church tonight and disappointment in not being there.
Like I said, I'm sure it sounds odd that I'm happy to have this feeling, but...

To have this much passion to want to go to church?!
That surely is something to be happy about. :)

On the plus side, I'll have time to finish my Tax problem for class tomorrow and, hopefully, post my notes from the last few weeks of church. :)

Church Alive

Man, what a church!! What a fellowship!! What a place to grow in God!!

Shawn's family has been going to Church Alive for a while now. A few weeks ago they had a weekend revival and they invited us. And, boy howdy, am I glad they did!!

We only made it on the first night. (We intended to go the second night, too, but poor time management was the prevention there.) That night was the first time I saw Shawn get the holy ghost. Ever since the conference at FAC, I knew it was real, but there was still a part of me that was a bit weary. I think it was because I felt like Shawn wanted me to experience something that I couldn't for sure know he experienced. After that night, it was definitely confirmed. I'm still cautious simply because I don't know much about it and, between me and God, He knows that I don't want to be a false worshipper/emotional worshipper.

Anywho, back to Church Alive;

I absolutely LOVE this church!! At first at CFC, I felt welcomed, but as time passes by I feel more and more disconnected, frowned on, and simply unaccepted, also, I don't necessarily agree with all of the teachings. We were going to FAC on Wednesday nights, which I do really like. It's just a bit too big of a congregation for my liking. And then there is Church Alive... It was a smaller congregation. Everyone there is super sweet and accepting. The pastor, Pastor Scott, remembered my name since the first visit and makes it a point to say hello every time we're there. He, also, insists on having Shawn and I over for coffee or dinner sometime. :)

This past Wednesday his message was entitled "An Apostolic, Pentecostal Church". As Dallas said, he was talking to me. I do believe that. Dallas even had him print me off the entire message, word for word what Pastor Scott said. Once I get a chance to read over it and make my notes, I'll be sure to post them.

I haven't felt this accepted in a church in a loooooong time. :)

Oh my geez. Do not jump on me because you're dumb enough to date someone that works at the university you attend!! I was simply trying to be polite by saying at dinner that you could've invited him, but then I realized that you two can't be seen together in town. Brittany doesn't care. Brandie and Victoria don't even know who he is. Tara doesn't even go to our freakin' school!! So, get over the situation and yourself.

By the way, if you're in a relationship that can't be publicized, don't you think there's something wrong with that? Yes, you love him. He loves you. Yes, it was all just some great miracle how the two of you met. However, if there is any possibility that the relationship may jeopardize one or the other's job, don't you think you should resolve the issue instead of just hiding it from others?

In a grown up world, which you both "claim" to live in, you should both be content with being close friends. If you both love each other as you claim to do, the two of you should wait until you graduate or he finds a new job to even start the relationship.

I know you won't like this if you read it, but I also know that you will probably never read this.

It ticks me off when you yell at me because his name accidentally slipped out around people who have no idea of his very existence.

CLUE: Get over it.